dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
