Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
