For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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