That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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