Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
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