so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
