Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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