watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
