I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Randomize
