yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
