Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
