babies were throwing up all over the place
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize