I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
