if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize