She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
