brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
