we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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