can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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