never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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