I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
