I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize
