the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Randomize
