yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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