I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
