wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
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