I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
