Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
so much tequila, so little girl.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
