All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
