She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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