I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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