I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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