we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
