u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
