And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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