I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Randomize
