she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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