So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
