hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Randomize