Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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