Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
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