I cockslap morals
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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