i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
