the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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