yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize