im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
