Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I have feelings that need drinking.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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