no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Randomize
