This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm like, not good at living.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Randomize
