now i know why i became what i already was.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Randomize
