you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
