hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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