and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
