Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
