he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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