She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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