I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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