real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
I'm having to shit out rocks
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
