how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
