i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
people are starting to question the shark bite story
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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