I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
