Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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