Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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