I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
