No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
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