Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
