You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Banned from zoo.
Again?
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
