Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm always down for nudity.
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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