i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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