let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
